Scene: Waitress Mary Cathrine talks to Johnny, an openly gay flamboyant bartender.
"I'll see ya' later, Johnny." "I'm goin' home".
"Girl, you watch out. Vampires are out at night you know" said Johnny.
"Yeah, I know", said Mary Cathrine, pulling her hair out of her face and placing it behind one ear. "Since they came out of the closet two years ago, the worlds been pretty different".
"Mmm-hmmm", he muttered.
"But, I'm wearing my crucifix tonight, so everything should be just fine".
"Girl, vampires don't care about no crucifixes!"
"Jesus will protect me", said the young lady.
"Honey, Jesus *WAS* a vampire, hell, may still be one for all I know".
"John Sansa, that's sacrilegious talk, and I won't listen to a bit of it!"
"You listen here, sweet pea", said John, "here...you hand me that bible over there." "Mmm-hmmm...(flamboyantly) "And I read from the gospel of John, chapter 6, 'The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat? Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you. Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him."
"Indeed...verily", that's means 'no shit', baby."
"Blah-blah-blah-bluh_blah...'Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it? When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Doth this offend you?" "Blah-blah-blah...'From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. John 666".
"What does that prove?!" asked the flabbergasted waitress.
"Nothing dear, just that your holy bible says that Jesus was killed in front of no tellin' how many witnesses, rose from the dead in three days, appeared to Mary before sunrise and told her that he would meet the disciples in the even; 'that's Jewish for after sundown', and later ascended up in the sky. What do you think it means, child?!"
"Jesus ain't no vampire", Mary insisted, "it also says he ate cold leftover fish." "Vampires don't eat no fish, Johnny".
"He was he fisher of men, girl", said Johnny while drawing a Greek Christian fish symbol on a notepad.
"You sayin' that he fed on the disciples?!" "You cannot be serious!" exclaimed the young girl. "Jesus ain't no vampire".
"Yeah, (sarcastically), it's just a two thousand year old string of astounding coincidences." "What are the odds?", said Johnny, walking away polishing a glass and laughing to himself.
"Jesus ain't no vampire", insisted the unnerved young waitress, trying to convince herself and anyone within earshot.
Johnny replies, "Yeah, because vampires don't exist." "Ain't that right, sweet pea?"
The young girl storms out of the bar.
Story by Lucis Ferre
